Footprints

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.” Matthew 7:7-8 (NIV)

Like many people, I grew up going to church, worshiping God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Ghost.  I was very serious about it at the time.  I was a kid and in my neck of the woods kids did what they were told to do. So I sang in the choir, went to church every Sunday and on Holy Days.  I prayed “Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep” every night and really hoped that I didn’t die before I woke up because I figured I still had a lot of life I hadn’t lived yet.

As I aged and matured, I fell into the world of activities, relationships, work, money, and just trying to make it through.  Life was hard and empty for me, even when I was with someone. I call this my desert walk and it lasted for years.  I was thirsty but found nothing to refresh me.  I was hungry and no food of life fulfilled me.  Maybe it’s like that for other people, too, but I only know my own story.

I believe that everyone has knowledge of God’s existence (Rom 1:20). It’s just that people react to this personal knowledge differently. Some pursue him, some run away from him, and some deny him altogether. Throughout my long trek through life’s desert during my 20’s, 30’s, and 40’s, something (Someone?) kept tapping me on the shoulder, tweaking my conscience every now and then, kind of pestering me.  Finally one day I just stopped dead in my tracks, did a 180, and as I turned around I said, “BOOOO!!!  Who are you and what do you want with me?” Of course, I didn’t really say “boo” to God, and I knew perfectly well it was God I was talking to. It’s just that I finally (and sincerely) asked him to reveal himself to me or go away.  And my life has never been the same since.

It’s hard to explain a change like that to people who have never faced the question of their own spirituality.  When you find the answer, it’s like stumbling upon an the oasis in that desert with the food and water you were dying for. It’s having a camel to ride on instead of walking. It’s having the camel driver be in charge of where you’re headed.  And it’s having someone sitting in the saddle with you, someone to talk to that already knows who you are, how screwed up you’ve been in your head, but likes you anyway and has your best interests at heart.

That’s what having a relationship with God is like when you acknowledge that he really did send his Son to earth in the form of a human, his son Jesus Christ. The historical facts are there for anyone who is interested in going that way. I’ve done a bit of historical searching myself.

But personally, for me the proof is in the knocking and answering.  I asked and I received the answer.  It’s just that simple.  I really don’t have to go any further than the changes that were wrought in my life.  There’s no way I could have connected the dots myself.  There’s no way I could have remade myself from my original scrawny, lonely, meaningless-lifed self to this joy-filled, peaceful and purposeful one. I tried for years and couldn’t do it.

I could call myself a Christian (and do) but somehow our society has bent that word into meanings that are not really accurate.  I don’t care for labels though.  So it’s more than enough for me call myself “one who turned around and faced God one day, asking him to reveal himself to me.”  I am simply someone who looked for God and found him.  I am one who wants to know the Redeemer of Life; someone who wants a  daily relationship with the Jesus I read about in the Bible as a kid; and I’m someone who wants to know that, if I listen and obey, I am guided moment by moment by the Holy Spirit that lives inside of me. God really is the ultimate music of life. . .

“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you. . .”  Ezekiel 36:26-28

I’m so glad God is in the business of performing heart transplant surgery! Every so often He has to change my heart. He warms up my indifferent heart of stone and tunes me in to the work He has for me to do. Being a natural introvert, my life can easily become all about me, self-absorbed, and centered on what I feel like doing. I can so easily forget about what I am called to do, God’s purpose for my life. Staying warm and cozy in my own little cocoon always feels so good to me.

One afternoon last week in the campground where we were staying, Alan suggested that we take our instruments down to a gathering of friends to play music for awhile. My initial reaction was, “I don’t really feel like playing.” I was busy in my little cocoon, sewing or cooking or something. But he insisted.

“OK,” I finally said, “but only for twenty minutes or so. I don’t want to bore them. And I really want to finish what I am doing.” We walked down to our friends’ campsite and played and sang for awhile. . they sang along. . .we all smiled and laughed a lot.

And, as usual, my heart was filled again. My indifferent heart turned warm as flesh as I watched the faces of our friends while they sang along with our music. Then I remembered that I am supposed to be doing this. A little folk music, a few Gospel tunes. . .music is a gift I can give away to others. And in turn, I receive my “new” heart.

Note to self: Life is not always about what I feel like doing!

After spending a few days living in our Casita travel trailer, we realized it would only be a temporary solution for our full time traveling. It just didn’t provide any separate living space for the three of us. It was all for one and one for all! When I was cooking, we were ALL cooking; if Alan was sleeping, we were ALL sleeping; if Daisy was lying in the middle of the floor. . .well, you get the picture. The solution? Our new Visa travel trailer.

We actually found it last year at the Tampa RV show, but it was longer than we wanted (a 20 footer but 23 feet w/ trailer tongue.) At the show this year we were delighted to find that the designers had created a scaled down version of the 20 foot trailer we’d fallen in love with last year.

Introducing: our new 17/20 foot Visa travel trailer (17 feet of living space compared to our Casita which provided only 14 feet of actual inside space.) The Visa has more headspace and is wider, too. The feel is spacious.

Moving day!

In a nutshell, here’s what made the 17’ Visa perfect for us:

1. Environmentally friendly construction materials: Yay! A new RV that I can actually live in! Made with no solvents or formaldehyde (passes California standards which are pretty high). Airtight construction, too, so I can escape from campground smoke when it gets overwhelming.
2. Separate living spaces: The entry door and dinette are in the back with windows on all three sides. Bed at the other end, partially partitioned off so it feels like a separate room. Full galley and bathroom (with a very small bathtub) in between.
3. Up-to-date construction: Light weight body but solidly constructed; continuous fiberglass shell (laid over the frame) from front to back fender preventing leakage; weighing about 2,800 lbs., our six-cylinder Mazda Tribute has no trouble towing it
4.  Lots of quality features usually found only in larger RVs: double kitchen sink with tall faucet; bath tub; space at end of bunk so the “inside person” can slide out of bed (no crawling over!); full dinette; ample storage lockers; two cellar compartments underneath; built-in stereo system w/ indoor-outdoor speakers; built-in TV hookup; roomy refrigerator at eye level; three large easy-gliding drawers in galley; modern blinds; fancy-schmancy counter tops.

Hats off to the Indiana Crew who designed and built this Visa travel trailer. You can tell their hearts were in it. The Visa company, a division of Gulfstream, prides itself on listening to the consumer. They’ve succeeded. In this day of quick fixes and lower-cost overseas production, it feels good to find a quality, American-made product like the Visa trailer.

The longer we live in it, the more we love it! Interior pictures to follow. . .

“You’re a piece of the puzzle, 

You’re a part of the plan.

All the little things you do come together 

When you put ‘em in His hand.”

I was never very good at putting together large puzzles. I’d look at that heap of puzzle pieces dumped out on the table  and feel overwhelmed. It was difficult for me to focus on each little part, finding the corners for reference, then looking at the picture on the box in order to gather together each of the matching colors. My best friend always insisted that there was a system to putting together puzzles, but I had no patience for it.

Sometimes that’s how I feel about life. Too many puzzle pieces, not enough reference corners, and, of course, there’s no picture on the box to help me sort through the various colors of my life. Lucky for me I know the One who made up the puzzle!

When Alan and I met we knew we were made to travel and play music together with absolutely no idea of how we were going to make that happen. But here we are, three years and many prayers later, all the puzzle pieces in place: a comfortable, livable travel trailer, Alan’s business affairs organized for remote handling, my health restored, our kids and grandkids settled, the money stuff falling into place. One puzzle piece at a time, one prayer at a time. The last big piece for us, “What do we do with our house?”, fell into place just before our departure date.

In Florida if you leave your house untended for long, the mildew sets up housekeeping and the yard shrivels up and moves out. If we were rich we’d hire someone to do the yard and leave the AC blasting to keep down the mold. RICH not being the case, we needed to either sell or rent. Selling would be preferable; a renter would have to be what we laughingly named The Perfect Renter.

We already knew The Perfect Renter in our minds. Old enough to be settled, nonsmoker, no kids, no pets, quiet lifestyle.  The Perfect Renter would take pride in the place, even though she’s renting. A person who wouldn’t put dings in the walls and let mildew flourish in the closet on the north side of the house. She’d keep the place in show-able condition and wouldn’t mind realtors popping in at a few hours notice. In our dreams!

Well dreams (prayers) DO come true! We were selling a few things at our neighbor’s garage sale about a month ago, when a nicely dressed woman walked over to Alan and struck up a conversation. Not to miss an opportunity for a house sale, Alan steered her over to look at our house. Turns out she was desperately looking for the “perfect house” to rent. Alan showed her around, then while standing on the front porch a few minutes later she declared, “You have to rent me your house. I am ‘the perfect renter’.” And she is. Three weeks later she was living in our house.

Prayers for puzzle pieces to fit together. . .If you’re not in the habit of regularly and fervently praying for what you need, you should try it. God really does want to give you the desires of your heart, in accordance with His purpose for your life. Remember. . .you’re a piece of the puzzle, you’re a part of His plan:)

“The way of the sluggard is blocked with thorns, but the path of the upright is a highway.” Proverbs 15:19 (NIV)

As a kid I was always intrigued with the well-trodden foot paths and Jeep trails through the woods where we used to camp. Back then Central Florida was pretty undeveloped, having a frontier feel to it. Those paths always beckoned to me and still do. Especially the new ones I’ve not walked before. This past weekend Daisy and I discovered a new-to-us path at Lake Griffin State Park. Continue reading →

Cutting THE LOSSES

One year I lost my father, my husband, my home, and my financial security, all in one big harrumph!  And I thought I would lose my mind. But I didn’t.

If I was to survive though, I had no choice but to look at life differently.  That was the year I began chasing the music. That was the time I began making intentional choices to refine my life: to purposefully remove the impurities and reveal the beauty and value of my life.  I started to see my time on earth as a work of art, a potential thing of beauty.  My life took on an importance as something I needed and wanted to craft, to cultivate, and to care for.  I walked away from who I had been, cut my losses, and never looked back (well, maybe just a peek every now and then!)

The TRANSITION

I think the hardest times in life are the transitions. Transitions feel like you’re straddling a fence with one foot on each side. You know you can’t stay in the old place, but you not sure what lies on the other side.

With an overwhelming need to make my personal losses into something positive, I sought out people who could help me see the music of my life.  I needed to change my own perception of my life, and I needed to learn to devalue my sometimes faulty perception of how others saw me.

Slowly I began viewing the changes that had occurred as a “moving forward” to better and more secure horizons rather than as a slipping backward.  As incremental as the first light appears in the sky before sunrise, a new and bodacious idea crept into my head: in losing everything, I had actually gained everything.

“Remember the fire on the alter must be kept burning at all times. It must never go out.”  Leviticus 6:13

Because I’ve lived in Florida most of my life, fireplaces are unique and intriguing to me.  We visited Alan’s daughter for Thanksgiving in Decatur, Ga where the wood burning stove mesmerized me, as usual.  Because I wake up a couple of hours earlier than the rest of the gang, I’ve had to learn how to stoke the fire in the stove.  The first time I tried this, I had no idea what to do, but I was freezing.  I saw the glowing coals in the stove, but obviously there was little heat. So I had to figure out how to rekindle that fire.  I added wood. Nothing happened. Then I remembered the fireman’s words to the school kids about fire needing three things: fuel, heat, and oxygen. Ah, oxygen. I figured someone must have slowed down the fire the previous night so it wouldn’t go out.  If the hot coals are preserved for the morning, the fire-building process doesn’t have to begin from scratch. I looked around, found a little lever near the bottom of the stove, pulled it out, and pooof–I was cookin’!

I’m so glad that God lit the fire within me–when I first believed– and the Holy Spirit took up residence, creating an eternal presence in me. But like that banked fire, when I wake up each morning, I need to stoke the coals that have been quietly burning through the night. I need to add oxygen and more fuel to that fire. I add that needed fuel and oxygen by reading his Word and through prayer.  The Holy Spirit, who is eternally alive in me, bursts into full flame.  The warmth and light of God once again shines bright for the whole world to see. I go forth into the day, living for the glory of God so others will feel His warmth and see His light.  It’s a daily ritual that I look forward to. . .keeping that fire burning!

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.   ⁶ If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.” John 15:5-6

I was working in my vegetable garden a couple of months ago and noticed a “volunteer” tomato plant. I had definitely not planted this one so it must have sprouted from a stray seed blown over from the compost pile. The main branch of this volunteer plant appeared to be broken, the stem bent at a 90 degree angle, probably damaged during a big nor’easter that went through during late September.  I basically ignored this little unnecessary plant thinking that, since the stem was broken, it would probably die of its own accord anyway. Continue reading →

Proverbs 14:4  “An empty stable stays clean, but no income comes from an empty stable.” 

I think I’ve perfected the art of maintaining a clean and empty stable.  I have perfected the life of introspection and contemplation. In fact, I so enjoy my time alone that I’ve had to learn how to intentionally and deliberately develop a healthy balanced life.  I think I’ve finally come up with an equation that works:

lone time + selected people-interaction-time =  a joyful life  

Honestly, I love my time alone.  It’s both ordered and creative; it’s productive and uncomplicated.  It’s my empty and clean stable.  But like Solomon points out in his proverb, my stable may be clean, but it’s not producing an income.   In other words, it’s not producing the richness and fullness, the hope and joy, that a balanced life brings. So every now and then, I make that intentional and deliberate decision to clutter up my clean stable with people and the little difficulties that sometimes come along with human interaction.  As long as I’m intentional about how I spend my people time, the payoff is always bigger than the energy I’ve expended.

Continue reading →